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Progressive discounts
What’s so progressive about the Progressive Insurance company?
They don’t even offer discounts for minorities or gays…
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Vitamin pill walks into a bar…
This vitamin pill walks into a bar and the bartender says, “So how is life?”
The One-A-Day pill replies, “You know taking it one day at a time.”
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Happy Halloween
I wished a woman “Happy #Halloween”, she gave me back the evil witch look.
Sorry Witchy Woman, I couldn’t tell that’s how u dress the whole year.
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What animal would you like to be?
When I am playing the game “What animal would you like to be?” My answer is usually, “Anything not on the traditional Chinese medicine list”.
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A Shortz Story…
The NY Times crossword puzzle editor Will Shortz was solving an LA Times crossword puzzle.
One of the clues was “NY Times Crossword Puzzle Editor…” but LA Times misprinted the answer as a 6 letter word instead of a 5 letter word.
Will Shortz did not want to be outdone by the rival West Coast LA Times puzzlers so he added an extra z at the end of his own name and completed the puzzle.
And that is how Will Short became Will Shortz.
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New girl at work…
Cute new girl at my work introduced herself, ” Hi! I am Brenda Short” and walked away awkwardly.
“Nice to meet you Brenda!”.
Well, It was a “short” introduction.
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Sad people at the Mall.
People at this Mall look so sad they can make a Kleenex reach for a tissue.
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Arch Nemesis…
Will Shortz, the NY Times crossword/puzzles editor has an arch nemesis I call him “Wont Longy” and he solves all of Will’s puzzles.
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Workers at a Hospital…
People who work in hospitals must be amazing at what they do because they were born in one.
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Glass of Water
Sometimes a few lucky gallons of water turn into beer but this unlucky glass of water in my hand is just a wannabe-er!
